Did you ever play the game when you were a kid, the one to see how far you could bend back your fingers without giving up in pain? How about allowing a relative or friend to keep hitting you harder and harder to see how long you could take it, without giving up? In both of these cases, the more pain you could tolerate, the stronger you were viewed. We all tried this at one point or another so that we wouldn’t feel or be called a wimp.

These silly games we played as kids imprint a lasting message in our psyche. The message is, we are somehow better if we are tough and learn to “suck up” pain or discomfort we are feeling. This message has been reiterated by adults as well, due to the belief that we need to be able tolerate pain because life is not always fair.

The unfortunate outcome is that most of us have learned how to tolerate our pain too well. We suffer in our careers, relationships and sense of self, due to our great tolerance of pain. We have learned loud and clear that we are better off that way. We pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and try to move forward all the while ignoring the pain the best we can.

What we don’t think about is how this will impact us in the long-term because we have been trained not to. There is this pain reliever/aspirin commercial that demonstrates this so well. The storyline is that this man suffers from pains that hold him back from accomplishing what he wants. Presto -- when he takes his pain reliever, we see him strong, being able to climb any mountain and accomplish his dreams. The message: there is an easy way to cover up our pain that allows us to achieve all that we desire. Poor guy. He thinks he is being so strong by pushing himself past his limits and he is going to wake up to some major, pain possibly even hurting himself physically to the point where it is beyond repair.

This commercial reiterates what we have all been taught to believe, which is, if we toughen up and cover up our pain, we will then be able to get what we want. This may work for the short-term but in the long run we hurt ourselves even more.

I have to share how much this saddens me because we hurt ourselves oftentimes in the long run. By ignoring our pain there is another part deep down within us that believes in the message of pain, rather than hearing the truth that our emotions want to share with us. We do our part to put our best selves forward each day all the while ignoring the hurt we feel. Why? We are good students and had good teachers passing on learned behaviors that keep people stuck. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Few people are born without the sensitivity to pain in their bodies. Their inability to feel (acknowledge) the pain puts them in greater danger and they end up getting hurt – often. Others keep a close watch on them because they do not register the signals that tell them what is taxing or hurting them.

I believe our society as a whole is suffering because we have tampered with the amazing gift of our emotional sensitivity. Rather than picking up on the emotional signals that tell us when something is not good, we tolerate what isn’t good for us. Worse yet, we tell ourselves to get over it, move on, think positively or be the better person and rise above it. The reality is that we are just telling ourselves that we are not sick of these circumstances enough to make a change. In other words, we are telling our pain to bring on some more because we can and will take more pain.

Once we have reached the point where we are so tired of the pain and so exhausted from fighting, only then will change occur. The gift is that our pain doesn’t have to reach that point in order for us to take action. What is it going to be for you -- a high pain tolerance or a low pain tolerance?

My hope is that you will join me in having a low pain tolerance. You will recognize your sadness, anger or frustration more often. The difference is that you will see this as a gift that will help you live your life even better. Trust me, it is not the emotions that are so painful. It is the truth that we are trying to deny. Remember the truth will always set us free. Doesn’t living freely sound better than living chained to pain?

For more information on Michelle or to take her quiz “Are You Surviving Life or Truly Living?”please visit www.MichelleBersell.com.